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Unsurprisingly, it was the photo of my dog trying to lick my face.(Thanks, buddy.) I went to her profile, and she was incredibly attractive, which made me think, "Wow, I am so blessed to be queer." She also had over eight photos, which did not bother me.
Not only did I spare myself the messages from hetero couples looking to spice up their marriages, I also took more chances. Oh, your six things you couldn’t live without weren’t creative enough? I am a terrible coward who will use any excuse I can find to avoid interaction, so the lack of information available on Her worked for me.I chose Facebook, because my Instagram is 80 percent dog pictures and 20 percent meals for one.You also have to allow Her to access your location, but if you have a phone someone already knows exactly where you are all the time anyway, so with that pleasant thought in mind, I hit "Allow." This should’ve been an easy step, but somehow I don’t have eight pictures of myself taken in the last year." If I'm feeling charitable, I answer honestly: "6-foot-2." They often follow-up with, "Do you ever date shorter men? And online, it's even more brutal: Women can calculate how tall they are in their highest heels, add a few inches for good measure, and then filter out men who fall below that sum. The average woman is eight percent shorter than her male partner.Of course the ability to search for people who meet our criteria is part of the appeal of online dating.
But while women say they have a "type"—they love bearded gingers or get off on guys in glasses—they don't filter out man who doesn't meet those specific physical criteria. It's a sweeping prejudice masquerading as sexual preference.
I scrolled through hundreds of photos of Her users, liking photos of a chef, a dancer, a medical student, and dozens of pet owners posing with their fur-babies. In the week that I was hacking the app, Her announced a major change—an option to list your gender on your profile.
"When we first started Her we were creating an app with a very specific set of users and a very specific problem in mind–helping lesbian and bisexual women find a date.
It came from a personal problem: we’d been using products out there that just didn’t cut it, so we set about making something to improve the dating world for women.
But pretty quickly we realized how much bigger, broader and more diverse the community that Her should be for, was.
I’m terrible at dating in general, but my go-to online dating move is to get a message from someone cute, and never ever respond. So, when Robyn Exton, the CEO at Her (stylized as HER), a dating app centered on lesbian, bi, and queer women, asked me if I was interested in their latest study on the best hacks for their app, a small, scathing, and very single voice inside me hissed, "You need this." The PR photos didn’t hurt.